Hilltoppers-AFG Alateen Area

     The Letter     Friends Share     An Alateen Sponsor Shares

An Open Letter to Parents     Top of Page

Dear Mom & Dad:

Sometimes it's really hard for me to tell you how deeply affected I've been by the disease of alcoholism. That's why I am giving you this pamphlet, hoping you will understand why I need to go to Alateen meetings. Many times I was afraid to tell you how muchy the drinking and fighting bothered me. I thought constantly about what was going on at home. It got in the way of my schoolwork and friendships. I was so embarrassed that I was afraid to bring my friends over and at times I didn't even want to go home myself. I felt it was MY fault we had so many problems, but in Alateen I learned that alcoholism is a family illness. Alateen also helped me realize it wasn't you I hated, but the disease.

This is what some of my Alateen friends have to share:     Top of Page

Jenny: "I'm writing to you dad, because this is the easiest way for me to tell you what Alateen means to me. At first I felt I was the only person in the world who had problems. Then I started listening to what Alateens had to say and something inside me just opened up. Now I look forward to meetings, not only because I see my friends there, but I also want to make my life better. I appreciate your making me go to those first few meetings and for letting me go now. I feel our relationship has grown stronger."

Andrew: "Mom, during Dad's early sobriety, you were often too involved with him and it seemed you didn't care about me. Your arguments made me feel lonely and scared. I tried to get you to stop and pay more attention to me. When you were tense, you'd snap at me and I felt lost. Now, Alateen offers me a chance to discuss my feelings and I feel accepted by my Alateen friends. I now realize that you've been affected by Dad's alcoholism just as I have."

Mary Sue: "Although Alateen will not fix me completely, it has helped me discover a new way of looking at my life. I've made friends in Alateen, but I don't go just for social reasons. I go to get help for my difficulties in living with alcoholism. Before Alateen, I didn't understand. When I was yelled at, I would scream back, run to my room and slam the door. Alateen has shown me that I can clam down and detach from the situation without having to react."

Laurie: "Alateen has given me the gift of sanity. Before I went to meetings, I had uncontrollable feelings of anger and hostility toward others, especially those of my own family. Now I've learned to be grateful for the little things - youth, laughter, a family who cares."

Mark: "I became part of Alateen because of my parents' open communication with me. As I watched them grow in their separate programs, I became jealous as I saw their fighting come to and end. I was still grumpy and I wanted to be happy, too. I'm thankful to my parents for guiding me toward the path called Alateen."

William: "I don't know where I'd be without Alateen. Here, I can express my feelings without fear of being ridiculed. My mind has been opened to a world I never knew existed."

Alcoholics suffer from alcoholism mentally, spiritually, and physically. Well, guess what? So does the family, regardless of age or maturity. I always used to hide my feelings, pretending that I didn't care when I was crying inside. Alateen has given me love, hope, and the feeling that I'm not alone. Please know that Alateen ...

• Is for kids like me who have been affected by someone else's drinking.
• Provides a safe place where I can share.
• Helps me understand the family disease of alcoholism.
• Is a place for me to learn to feel good about myself.
• Encourages me to change my attitude instead of reacting to the situation.
• Gives me the courage to detach with love.
• Is anonymous - we don't discuss what we hear or whom we see at meetings.
• Is grrrrreat!

I hope this has given you both a clearer picture of Alateen's importance in my life. I guess I just want to tell you that I need Alateen.

P.S. Here's what our Alateen Sponsor says about Alateen:     Top of Page
As an Alateen Sponsor, I have a very special place in your child's life. I'm there to offer guidance at meetings and to provide a safe place in which Alateens can talk freely. A Sponsor doesn't play the role of teacher, as we share rather than educate. I do not assume a parental role as I could never take your place. We learn to respect children as people and they learn to trust us because we honor their confidentiality.

Try to remember, Alateen is NOT:

• A therapy program.
• A program for teenagers with drinking or drug problems.
• A place to complain about parents or anyone else.
• A place for fixing your child.
• A baby-sitting service.
• A social hangout.
• A punishment tool; it's a recovery tool.

I wish I could convey to you how much your kids mean to me. I guess being there with them every week explains it. Each time I think of all the kids who've been helped and of all the fun I've had in the process, I now know how much I believe in Alateen.

If you ever have any doubts about your loved ones needing Alateen, keep this in mind: You don't have to drink to suffer from Alcoholism.

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