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Al-Anon Forum Magazine Featured Article
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Pillow Toss
- Pillow Toss
- "... I couldn’t leave the house with my bed unmade."
- In my very early Al-Anon days I had a lot of trouble with perfectionism. I still do at times, but now I know that I’m striving for progress, not perfection. My husband, who brought this character defect to light for me, is a recovering alcoholic. We got back together after several years of divorce. We have worked very hard on communicating with each other, instead of stuffing our feelings.
- As I was getting ready for work one morning, I was in my usual rush—but I knew I couldn’t leave the house with my bed unmade. Since I was in such a rush, my husband offered to help me make the bed. I accepted his help, but my mind kept telling me, "He doesn’t do it right, especially when it comes to placing the toss pillows correctly."
- My husband was working on his side of the bed when I left the bedroom. When I came back into the room, I noticed the toss pillows were not the way I liked them. I immediately rearranged them to my satisfaction. I stepped into the bathroom and when I came out, there were all of the toss pillows lined up along the foot of the bed.
- I stopped in my tracks, looked at the pillows, and immediately started laughing. My husband peeked around the comer and smiled. I knew at that moment he was trying to help me understand that my old perfectionism was showing, but he never said a word.
- I still remember this situation whenever my perfectionism tries to make a comeback. Yes, I left the pillows alone—and today I don’t relegate someone else’s kindness to second place behind my old character defect. I keep coming back to Al-Anon to remind me that my focus needs to be on myself and not on what someone else is or isn’t doing.
- Sue V. - Florida
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Alcoholism is a family disease. Those of us who live with, or have have lived with, this disease as children or adults sometimes have problems which the Al-Anon program can help us to resolve. If you have answered yes to some of all of the above questions, Al-Anon may be of help to you. You can contact Al-Anon by checking your local telephone directory, or from the Resources page. Phone numbers and Contact Information for the Austin Area are listed on the Contact Page of this website.
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- These articles were reproduced with permission from 'The Forum', the monthly inspirational newsletter of Al-Anon. Al-Anon World Headquarters, Inc. is located in Virginia Beach, VA. See www.Al-Anon.org for more information.
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